What does one see when they look at this picture? A young girl standing in a bathroom? I see a mighty warrior who has endured hell, been kicked down, the carpet pulled out from underneath her, the wind knocked out of her… but after she caught her breath she decided to rise again. And again. And yet AGAIN.
This woman is me. I am a beautiful soul in love with life and humanity. I thoroughly enjoy using my brain power to find ways for making money creatively. I’m also a mother. A SINGLE mother. I’m a mother to 7 wonderful people. This simple looking lady birthed 7 kids over the past 11 years. Every imperfection I have, every roll, and every stretch mark; I earned! I celebrate my body and thank it for producing life 7 times over. I dismiss the “perfect” seeking culture. I am happy to be me and I’m a path to becoming the best me possible. I’ve laid down the temptation to compare myself to the woman over there because its a joy KILLER and trust me she has her own PROBLEMS that I don’t need. We all face battles. EVERY HUMAN DOES. Now some people may not be quick to admit it, but its TRUE. We each get to be ourselves and that what makes humanity awesome.The best gift I’ve received in 2019 is from myself—I gave myself permission to believe in me.
I feel super blessed and little crazy all at the same time. Raising 7 kids is no joke. From the loads of dishes to the dirty underwear I’m always finding. Someone is usually crying, while a few others are hungry. My work never stops, but I like it. There are moments that plain ole suck! Like getting to daycare and realizing I’ve forgotten the babies bottle and now I’m at an apt 30 mins away. Or when my 3 kids under 3 were all crying late into the night and there was just one of me and only 2 arms and 2 legs to sit on. I was overwhelmed and afraid that I can’t do this…..but then time passed. Children calmed. They fell asleep. (they are so dang cute when asleep!) And I could breathe. I took in that deep breath and thanked the universe for choosing ME.
So many women would love to have kids and for one reason or another they don’t and here I sit with over a half dozen. The women body…my body… is amazing.
I have been through hell the last year. I’m still in transition. I took the last 6 plus months off from writing and encouraging the world I love because I was broken. My life hit the fan. I believed I had nothing to give. I thought I wasn’t important. I thought my life didn’t matter and it didn’t amount to much. But I was wrong.
I’ve taken up writing again because 1- I freaking love it! and 2-I know someone else out there somewhere is also hurting. I surprise myself somedays that I’m still here. I have endured so much pain, mountains of disappointment, and an avalanche of change. But through it all, I get up every day. I keep going. I make amends with myself. I vow to let go of the things I can not change, let go of the hate and resentment and accept my new life. I have my energy focused on me. What do I want and what do I need. I am in charge of myself, my thoughts, my attitude, and my actions. To be in charge of me has been the most beautiful journey I’ve ever explored. I am now empowered to live the life I was meant for.