My Story

My Story…The Real Ordeal…..

My Story pic .jpg


I’ve lived through rejection. I’ve lived through rape. I’ve lived through emotional and psychological abuse. I’ve lived through physical abuse. I’ve lived through emotionally unavailable parents. I’ve lived through a narcissistic psychopathic father. Manipulation to no end. I’ve lived through the chaos of domestic violence. I’ve lived through heart break. I lived through watching my grandmother deuterate and die in front of my eyes at a very young age. I’ve lived through faking life as being happy. A loveless marriage. Childbirth x 7 (not fun). Crohn’s disease. Pneumonia. I’ve lived through keeping a secret of my home life as a child and as an adult. I’ve endured an excruciating amount of pain…the list goes on. But somehow I MADE IT. I am still here and going strong for a reason.

While pregnant with my seventh child I knew I couldn’t become the best version of myself alone. I knew I needed to find support. I knew I need to seek counseling. I thought about for several weeks before I made the call.

I was afraid. Terrified of telling the truth. No clue what to expect. Was there really hope for me? Was I too far gone? Were my problems as big and terrible as they felt? I sure didn’t feel worthy. I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I felt that I was dealt a shitty hand of cards. I was angry. I was sad. I was so confused. I thought God had a strange way of showing me He loved me. I was consumed by lies. By religion. By those around me. By what they thought I should be.

I didn’t even know where I went wrong. I couldn’t make sense of my life. I felt like a victim and that pissed me off. I was fairly certain I was born to the wrong parents. After decades of being tormented by all of this I finally found freedom. At age 9 I remember deciding (after taking a look around at my immediate family) that I would one day find the key to happiness. I wanted to be different. I wanted to enjoy life. That one day I would change my life. I would use all my energy to live happy and be happy. That mission seemed to get buried deeper and deeper into the dirt until I could barely see it any more as years of mistreatment kept coming. And then, 8 weeks after giving birth to my seventh child I decided to take the risk. I signed up for counseling again. I had tried it once before in high school and it wasn’t useful. In the deepest part of my heart I knew I wanted to be happy and I felt in my gut counseling would provide me the tools I needed to get there.

At first each baby step hurt. Getting honest with myself about what had gone on in my home as a child and then as an adult was overwhelming. It left me unable to breath in that office. Several times I felt like I had the wind kicked out of me. A straight abdomen shot. As I sat there doing EMDR wondering what the hell that was and if would really help me. I had to yell STOP more than once. At another counseling session I burst into tears so badly I couldn’t stop and had to excuse myself. I up and left sobbing uncontrollably.

I’m happy to say that after some really hard sessions I gained more and more freedom. I didn’t give up on me. After many sessions I’d go home and have a week of hell. I didn’t want to do anything. I wanted to stay in bed and check out. But I willed my body to get up, take care of my kids, and keep moving forward. Sometimes I couldn’t baby step. It seemed too big. So I would crawl. On my hands and knees to new and healthy levels ever so slowly.

As I became more and more healthy, unhealthy wasn’t attracted to me. I knew where I was headed. I knew there would be casualties. I knew that I was going down this narrow hallway and only I could fit. I knew it was over. I chose to have a chance at happiness and I filed for divorce. Pulling up to that lawyers office I saw the number I had seen during a spiritual experience and I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. It didn’t make it any easier. But I sure was confident that I was making the best choice out there for my self and my children. I went into the bathroom and threw up. I gave myself one hell of a pep talk and forced myself to breath. Washed my face with water and dried with paper towels. I looked myself straight in the yes via the mirror and reminded myself I am a warrior and I refuse to bow down to fear. I held my head high, left that bathroom trembling and I went and sat at the big table in the fancy room. I told my lawyer what I wanted and what I needed. I told her I’d pay her whatever it cost for my freedom. I had no clue the battles I would face in the 10 months to come. But each time I faced them. Each time I felt tired. I felt like giving up. But on I went. And I won them one after another. When things looked impossible, they became possible. When I couldn’t handle the stress, the pain anymore, something shifted. When the other party involved claimed God wouldn’t allow me to get a divorce and I would forever be his wife (puke) the judge was able to put an end to that insane, religious, crazy talk.

I am still in the trenches in many ways. Financially I am starting at ground zero. Setting boundaries with my kids-ground zero. Teaching what love really is and what respect really is to a woman…ground zero. There are days I want to quit. Many days that I cry and hug my pillow. Days I apologize to my kids for things out of my control. But I am at peace with myself. I love me. And I love my kids. I can see how every wrong thing led me to the right place I am in. I can see how my low self esteem, non existent self worth, and boundary-less life made me a prime target for abuse.

BUT by some miracle I never lost my ability to love. I am real. I am raw. I am transparent. I will never hide again. I will face fear with the tenacity of a lion and I will love the hurting as innocent as a baby lamb. I still carry bucket loads of empathy and compassion for hurting humans. I love others and love them well. But I can now say NO and I can say YES where I need to. I can hold my opinions and beliefs when they are not popular. I will never change my core being to make others feel better about themselves. I am me and you are you and that’s exactly how it’s going to be. My heart is still so big even after all it endured. I am proud of that. I am thankful for that. I share my trauma and my rawest moments for several reasons: If my story can help you, give you hope to keep living, and seek help, then it all had a purpose. It sucked. I don’t wish it on anyone. But this is my way of giving back. Being a voice for those who haven’t found theirs yet.

Many times I’d look at my past and be tempted to go back to the familiar ways. I was caught in the middle. I was too scared to go back and too scared to move forward. There I was. Looking left. Looking right. The fear was paralyzing. Familiar felt awful, but strangely comforting. New felt exciting, but terrifying and extremely hard. I was unsure if I could trust it. I thought dying would be easier. I thought the world would be just fine without me. Disappearing seemed to be the only solution I could come up with. The show would go on without me; wouldn’t it? I felt trapped on planet earth; a place I didn’t belong. I so badly wanted it to end. All the darkness. All the pain. My heart couldn’t take anymore pain.

But beloved, I am right where I belong. My story looks different than your story, but you belong here too. The fact you are reading this and still breathing means you have value, you have purpose, and you deserve to be happy. I am now cool with being me. I am totally unique. Weird. One of a kind. And I like it. I am half city girl and half country girl. Some of my favorite things are peculiar (my favorite drink is ice water). I am fun, adventurous, a hope giver, a smartass, a badass, a creator, a writer, a mother, a dreamer, an entrepreneur through and through. There are many parts to me and I am learning to embrace them and not deny who I am. Much is still unknown, but for certain I will be on this self discovery of what is fun and what makes me, Mindy, for a life time. Who wants to join me?

They call it 'Puppy Love'

Puppy Love .jpg

Seeing those cute little puppies from a distance sparked so much in me. I instantly felt warm and whole in my body. Excitement rang from my toes all the way up to the top of my head. Before I knew it I was smiling, ear to ear. My heart leaped as I got closer and began to admire God’s creations. My day, just got brighter.

So many tiny ears, noses, tongues, teeth, and toes. 8 pups. All so precious. After a few moments of being in awe of their cuteness I took the plunge and picked one up. I chose the one who was quietly asleep, off to the side all by its self. It reached a part of me deep inside that had felt alone for so many years. Yes, this is the one I chose for the next several minutes to share my love with, one on one.

Happily I went and sat with the puppy. Admired it more. Stroked is softly over and over again. Looked at it with so much love and adoration.

This entire experience reminded me of myself as a young child. I was often alone daydreaming of ways to help people, make $$$, and how I was determined to find a way to live a happy life. Not necessarily your average kid stuff…but hey my mom always said I’ve always “gone against the grain.” As children that’s what we all long for, right? To be seen, heard, admired, adorned. Some of us get that need met in childhood and it’s beautiful and necessary; but many of us don’t. Our parents didn’t have it to give.

After much counseling, life coaching, reading, and researching I have become very self aware that I didn’t get what I needed to thrive in this life and was left with brokenness. But I have learned that I am able to sit in that pain, validate my feelings, and heal myself. It’s called Self-Parenting. The chains of victimhood have been removed. I am lighter and free to go and do whatever I please. There is literally nothing else stopping me now. Just like the mama dog who was walking around free and happy while all of us humans were entertaining and looking after her pups. That’s me. I’ve spent many years looking after my inner issues. Tackling them full speed ahead; one by one. Bringing them to light has allowed me to experience and feel freedom. I have new perspective on life in general. Life is looking more and more beautiful each and every day.

Hard moments still exist, BUT I have to tools and ability to pick myself back up. Dust off those boots and put on my big girl panties.

You see, all these years I’ve had the power living on the inside of me. I’ve had everything I needed. However, I didn’t know it and I didn’t know HOW to unlock it. And folks, when you don’t know something…..you just don’t know it yet. Therefore, show yourself compassion and let go of the guilt.

I am writing to say that I have found the tools I need to build the life that I want to live. I am now free. So free. And of course I want this for others. Anyone who wants freedom can attain it. I’ll tell you it is the scariest, hardest, most terrifying thing I’ve ever one done in my life. (And lets remember…giving birth………7x……was scary!!!!!

This healing process took many nights sobbing myself to sleep. Feeling so sad I thought I may die of a broken heart. Tears, anxiety, and pain were all present during counseling sessions. Bouts of depression followed. You name it; I felt it. To take off each mask that I had been wearing and sift through the saddest, most fragile, darkest parts of my heart was equally as terrifying as the idea of walking through a mall naked. I felt so vulnerable, afraid, and UNCOMFORTABLE. That’s what growth is all about………facing fears, feeling the awkwardness, and going with it! Feeling uncomfortable is my new NORMAL as I lived in toxic, dysfunction all my life so healthy feels significantly different.

For so long I felt I appeared pretty on the outside, but was a broken, confused mess, on the inside. I suffered in silence as I, COULD NOT, for the life of me, put a name on what I feeling let alone name the issues. I tried for years to change me on an external level. To become perfect. The perfect mom. Perfect wife. Perfect friend. I was driven by perfection in the hopes of escaping the feelings of rejection. But on the inside I was carry all the pain from the past.

Guys……perfection does NOT exist. Now if you are part of my life you know………..MINDY IS THE REAL DEAL. I am Real. Raw. Transparent. That’s me at my core. I don’t have time to waste pretending anymore. I have a life to live and I am on it!

In the not so distant past, I knew there were many things that were wrong but I couldn’t put it into words. Not at all. Now I know it was conditioning, my subconscious mind, years of abuse, lack of self worth and self love. The list goes on. I am no longer afraid of rejection. I am not everyone’s cup of tea and that is more than OKAY. Many varieties exist. Those who are meant to be part of my life will be. I am some peoples But most importantly….I have peace on the inside. I can sit in my own company and enjoy me. I can be my own best friend. My biggest cheer leader. I am my own life saver with my very own flavor. :p

Now, I can see me for me. I cherish myself and cherish self love. I can take time to really look at me, Mindy, the creation God spent time on creating. (or the universe or whom ever you call it). I am valuable. I am worth while. I have much to give, simply by being me. I can replace that old negative voice of the past with MY VOICE. That same voice I’ve used to encourage and lift up others around me for almost two decades—that voice—works just the same for myself.

What I mean is one can adore themselves, spend time with self, and love themselves thoroughly and unapologetically. We can put ourselves first with no guilt and no ulterior motives. I now make it a point to spend time on and with me. Doing things I love, that bring me joy is equally as precious to me as taking my kids to the playground, swimming, or sending them to summer camp. For me I do this through writing this blog, jumping on top of a horse, reading another self help book/ finance book, and taking hot epson baths. And today I did brought myself job by slowing down, sitting down, and holding puppies. Loving oneself is just the beginning of a Happy Life.

I believe the healing you desire can be found inside of you. I have found the real Mindy and I wouldn’t trade her for the world!

It's all in The Name

Copy of Miss Mindy Love.png

I'm now officially divorced! It is time to change my last name. There were some mixed emotions. I had to have a conversation with my children as this is all new territory for them and I, but the power of communication is phenomenal. At first I contemplated not changing my name as to not upset my children, but you know what? I lived so much of my life as a people pleaser, responsible for every human’s negative emotions and frankly I’m done with that.

Many people have asked if I will go back to my maiden name. My response—NEVER. My maiden name has so much negative connotation to it. It reminds of the years I felt so hurt, rejected, unloved, and powerless. I remember being anxious to get married and wanting to change it...to belong to someone else. Who wants to go back to that? Not me. I now belong to myself and it feels so good.

I am blooming, I am blossoming! Little by little the fun, easy going, HAPPY Mindy is returning. I have decided to choose my own last name because that’s the Mindy Way of course. As a little girl I remember the precise moment I saw Jennifer Love Hewitt on tv and her name came across the screen. The moment I saw the word “Love” in her name I fell in love. I thought it was absolutely remarkable to have that powerful, beautiful word in her name. And now, since I was given the chance, why not run with the idea and choose my own last name. Love describes me perfectly to a T. I am gentle, kind, compassionate, generous, caring (sooooo caring), and at the same time I am ferocious, fierce, courageous, and badass. The ones I choose to love, I love with my whole heart.

I’ve been waiting 9 months to change my name and I the time is now. Similar to the time it takes to grow a new life in the womb; Mindy Love has been born. The last nail is in the coffin. Freedom is mine. It’s final. It’s the end of a long saga on the beginning of beautiful new journey. I couldn’t be more pleased with the name I’ve given myself.

How Unexpected Events and a Broken Heart lead to Wholeness

Mindy on the beach.jpg

Never in a million years did I picture myself divorced. And certainly NOT with seven children in tow. But here I am. It’s my new reality. How I got here is a very longgggggggggg story that I will be sharing in pieces. The story will make you cry because it is real life—my life. It’s a life I knew I didn’t like deep down, but I was too scared to be honest with myself; let alone the world. I came to a point where I couldn’t hide it anymore. It was eating me up on the inside. Deep down I knew in my core being something was wrong in my own home, yet I couldn’t put my finger on it. I blamed for so many many years. I was convinced I was thankful enough, I wasn’t patient enough, I just simply wasn’t enough. All this shame and guilt led me into depression. I would smile on the outside, but inside I was very very broken.

I realize this comes to a real shock to anyone who knew me while I was married. I was always smiling and speaking positively about EVERY challenge I faced until one day I woke up to the fact that all of the positivity in the world won’t change another person. I can only change me. And change me is exactly what I did. So here goes somethin’…………….

Sometimes unexpected things happen to us. Life throws us a curve ball. That is what has happened to me. It's been almost a year since my kids' father and I split up. I was lost, overwhelmed, and unsure of who I was and what the hell I was going to do. My eyes were opened to so many new lessons on this particular journey I would like to share with you. I hope my story gives you the courage to keep moving; baby step and baby CRAWL when times get tough because that is how I survived the grief when it had swallowed me whole.

I had a really hard discussion with myself. I had to decide…do I want to do another 17 years like I’ve been doing life OR do I want a chance at happiness? I chose the later and I don’t regret it. The period of transition was excruciating (if you have any birthed a human YOU know exactly what I am talking about here) and if you haven’t….I hope you get to experience it. It’s like NO Other intensity. I surprised myself what I am capable in that moment of discomfort….and then I did it 6 more times. Yes I am crazy and extremely proud of my accomplishments. The female body is fascinating!

Back to the story: I got married at 18.5 years old. I thought I knew what I wanted, but looking back I was looking for love in all the wrong places. You see…love comes from within and until one finds it within themselves it can become very toxic getting it any other way. Toxic relationships come in all ages, shapes, and sizes. No two look exactly the same, but the common denominator is that it is NOT healthy for either party involved.

You see, I just came out of a season of so so so much pain. The pain I felt was unbearable. I thought my life was over. I did not believe I had the strength or ability to heal myself—but I do and so do you. I didn't know how to recover from my heart being ripped out of my chest, diced into many pieces and then stomped on. My dreams of a happy marriage and family burned up like a hot flame. The reality of a broken home was settling in and divorce was apparent. I felt sad for myself but the grief I felt for my children was even more so.

Step by step I made progress. I threw “perfection” out the window because honestly, it doesn’t exist. And all those who think they are perfect…they can go ….themselves. First I started counseling. Before I knew that my marriage would end in divorce, I realized that I needed to reach out for help. I knew that I wanted to go to next level that I could achieve and I knew I had gone as far as I could alone. Counseling was a godsent to me. Over the last year a few months I have learned, layer by layer, what makes Mindy tick, why I respond how I do, as well as helped me process my own feelings.

Next, I put my 5 oldest children in counseling. The coping skills they have learned are priceless. I am so happy they are able to learn these valuable skills now. We are could benefit from them. Then, I went through the hellish process of the court system. Hurry and go to court and then wait. And repeat. But finally, it came to an end. No one can force you to stay married to them; no one. Custody was solved. And lastly, I was given the official paper returning me to the “Single” status. It was the end of something…..the entire life I knew and yet, it is the beginning of something new and beautiful.

The stress, anger, frustration, and deep sadness and complete sorrow took a toll on my body. I felt like a failure. I developed pneumonia for the first time in my life. I was treated in the hospital and begged to not get admitted as I didn't have health insurance. My body was in utter shock. It was overload. I went from being a die hard Christian, stay at home, and giver to everyone, to a clueless, lost soul working full time, taking care of the house and balancing 7 children on my own. My identity was stripped away from me. My dreams of happily ever after—vanished in an instant. But deep down I knew the only way to true happiness and healing was to crawl through the pain. I was so wrapped up in being the perfect wife I didn't know what to do or think now that I wasn't one. I completely lost myself in religion. I dove so far into putting everyone else’s needs in front of my own and “loving” them that I died to myself. Literally. I was not taking care of my primary needs. I would skip meals, keep working when I was exhausted, and tell myself I didn’t need fun, that I could survive. Being overtired was a way a life and I knew no different.

The last year was a long painful road. It was filled with fear, tears, panic, anxiety, what ifs, failure, and total overwhelmedness (that's a Mindy made up word). So many emotions. I found myself in a dry dead land, alone with 7 little kids looking to me for comfort and strength, but I had NOTHING left to give.

There were many days I wanted to give up. I wanted to quit. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to redo the past. Days I just didn't have any strength left as I lay face down on the floor holding my pillow and would just whail. I cried out to God, wondering what the hell he was doing and if He was listening. I have NEVER cried like this before in my life. I’ve endured a lot of pain in my young life, but this was a whole new level. The pain I felt on the inside was so deep, so dark, so stabbing. I didn't have a clue what to do with it. I found comfort through therapy, through friends, relatives, books, art and a whole lot of writing. Why am I sharing this with you? Because during this last year I just wanted to know I wasn’t alone. That there was someone, anyone, on planet earth that had felt this pain, experienced this pain, walked through it and arrived on the shore of the other side. So today I sit here writing this with a heart full of thankfulness. I am here to say I have walked through the fire. I thought I would die. I’ve been drowning in the ocean, but now I have arrived on top and can breath. My mindset has changed. My perspective: Brand new. I've experienced so much healing and will continue on my journey. Fun and love and now part of my daily rituals. There is no more striving to be loved. No more striving to be accepted. The day I was able to accept myself...mind, body, and spirit...set me free. I don't need to impress anyone. I don't need to change in order to be worthy of love. And it's never my job to make someone else happy. I am 100% responsible for me and my own happiness.

I am in the process of discovering exactly who I am and who I want to be. It's an amazing adventure. Learning what I like and what I don't like is beautiful! I have found my voice. I have my own opinions and they matter most to me. I can say how I feel; even when it is uncomfortable...I can now do it. I am so proud of me and all the hard work I have put in the last 10 months. I have no intention of slowing down. I am ready to rock my dreams, manifest the shit out of my life, and be FREE to be the best version of Mindy that I know I can be. I have been liberated and if my story, my mess, my sadness, my pain can liberate YOU than it was worth the fight. I have so many people I am thankful for who stood with me during this messy season, many I said good bye to a few I said nice to meet you. I am thankful to all of you for being part of my story.

I am here to say point blank......if I can walk through this pain, this darkness, and I am now able to see the light....YOU can too. It is not easy at all, but it is something that has been and can be done. Give yourself more grace than you would give the human you admire most. Love on yourself. Pick one thing to try that you have put off for years. Talk kind to yourself and keep baby steppin’. I have been liberated and if my story, my mess, my sadness, my pain can liberate YOU than it was worth the fight. You got this!


Who is this woman?


IMG_4437.JPG


What does one see when they look at this picture? A young girl standing in a bathroom? I see a mighty warrior who has endured hell, been kicked down, the carpet pulled out from underneath her, the wind knocked out of her… but after she caught her breath she decided to rise again. And again. And yet AGAIN.

This woman is me. I am a beautiful soul in love with life and humanity. I thoroughly enjoy using my brain power to find ways for making money creatively. I’m also a mother. A SINGLE mother. I’m a mother to 7 wonderful people. This simple looking lady birthed 7 kids over the past 11 years. Every imperfection I have, every roll, and every stretch mark; I earned! I celebrate my body and thank it for producing life 7 times over. I dismiss the “perfect” seeking culture. I am happy to be me and I’m a path to becoming the best me possible. I’ve laid down the temptation to compare myself to the woman over there because its a joy KILLER and trust me she has her own PROBLEMS that I don’t need. We all face battles. EVERY HUMAN DOES. Now some people may not be quick to admit it, but its TRUE. We each get to be ourselves and that what makes humanity awesome.The best gift I’ve received in 2019 is from myself—I gave myself permission to believe in me.

I feel super blessed and little crazy all at the same time. Raising 7 kids is no joke. From the loads of dishes to the dirty underwear I’m always finding. Someone is usually crying, while a few others are hungry. My work never stops, but I like it. There are moments that plain ole suck! Like getting to daycare and realizing I’ve forgotten the babies bottle and now I’m at an apt 30 mins away. Or when my 3 kids under 3 were all crying late into the night and there was just one of me and only 2 arms and 2 legs to sit on. I was overwhelmed and afraid that I can’t do this…..but then time passed. Children calmed. They fell asleep. (they are so dang cute when asleep!) And I could breathe. I took in that deep breath and thanked the universe for choosing ME.

So many women would love to have kids and for one reason or another they don’t and here I sit with over a half dozen. The women body…my body… is amazing.

I have been through hell the last year. I’m still in transition. I took the last 6 plus months off from writing and encouraging the world I love because I was broken. My life hit the fan. I believed I had nothing to give. I thought I wasn’t important. I thought my life didn’t matter and it didn’t amount to much. But I was wrong.

I’ve taken up writing again because 1- I freaking love it! and 2-I know someone else out there somewhere is also hurting. I surprise myself somedays that I’m still here. I have endured so much pain, mountains of disappointment, and an avalanche of change. But through it all, I get up every day. I keep going. I make amends with myself. I vow to let go of the things I can not change, let go of the hate and resentment and accept my new life. I have my energy focused on me. What do I want and what do I need. I am in charge of myself, my thoughts, my attitude, and my actions. To be in charge of me has been the most beautiful journey I’ve ever explored. I am now empowered to live the life I was meant for.

Through this journey and transition I have met beautiful lpeople who support me and many haters that will NEVER understand me. And that’s okay. No one needs to understand us. We need to understand ourselves. From that revelation a tiny seed begins to grow in our life and opportunity follows. You can do this sister. I believe in me and I believe in YOU!

What is being a MOM mean to you?

Being the MOM.png

Being a mom is pretty ordinary to me as I’ve been one now for over a decade. When my kids have a need they don’t think twice, “Mom, mom, mom, mom? mom?.” It’s a good thing really. They have learned that I am a trusted person in their life that will meet their needs.

While having a conversation with a trusted friend, I was asked…. “What does being a mom look like for you?” I was a bit dumbfounded by the question. She continued to explain that not everyone has the same belief system or the same things that are important to them. I was inspired by her question and took time to think it out and write up my answer in which I will share with you below. There is no “right” or “wrong” response. It’s simply becoming quiet with ones self and AWARE of what is important to YOU, not what society or religion says you should be as a mom. After you write out your answer take time to look it over and ask, “Is this realistic”. Being honest with ourselves is such a great way to calm the mental chaos. We don’t need to be “super” mom rather our kids need up to be ourselves; to love ourselves, and love them. The rest has its way of working itself out.

What does being a mom look like to YOU?

A mother is a beautiful thing. She leads by example. She is ambitious. She is strong. She accesses things she liked and didn't like about her own upbringing and makes the appropriate changes to enhance the life of her children.

She shows love and support to her children. She corrects and guides them. She holds them accountable. She encourages them to love learning and growing as a person. She has many conversations with them. She plays with them, cooks with them, shows them they are important. She makes mistakes and learns from them.

She makes sure her children have what they need. She provides breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. She plans fun activities to do as a family and takes them on dates alone. She hugs and cuddles them endlessly and tells them she loves them and that they are beautiful inside and out.

She calls attention to their natural gifts and talents. She keeps them clean and buys them cute clothes that fit.

She apologizes when she does wrong. She owns her stuff. She accepts the human side of herself and doesn't judge herself harshly. She takes good care of herself physically, emotionally, and mentally.

She is a protector. She stands up for her kids. She keeps them safe. She has their back. They know they can TRUST her. She wants good things for her children.

She encourages them to pursue their passions and is their biggest cheerleader. She is a shoulder to cry on when times are tough, she is a safe refuge. She's a great listener. She shows compassion to the hurting child.

She's a hope giver. She works at a job she loves. She creates multiple streams of income. She takes time for herself. She talks kindly to herself. She practices self care. When she falls off the wagon, she gets back up and tries again.


All Work And No Play?

do you need fun in your life_.png

Ambitious women know how to work hard, but do we know how to play?  For me it is in my nature to work, work, work. Taking care of people and helping solve problems is my profession and I enjoy it. But do you know what happens when I only work work work? Yup, you got it. I get burned out.  I'll define burn out as uninspired, tired energy that leads to mental and physical exhaustion and leaves one in a funk." 

After my recent adventure that I'll call my "Day of Fun" (You can view it here) I could feel it on the inside. All my life I've had to be serious and it caused a "fun" deficit. I've always worked hard and "play" always seemed awkward to me.  When I do play, I have to lay down all seriousness and after holding on to that for a few decades I found it to be a challenge.  So, what's a girl to do? I simply remembered how my kids would take in new experiences and enjoy the moment.  Children are the best teachers and I followed their lead!.

My Aunt, Cousin, and I went go kart racing.  And then we went to lunch.  We then went back to the fun park and rode on the bumper boats and played mini gulf.  While on the the bumper boats I noticed the two young girls around age 9 were relentless in their spraying and the grown ups were more reserved.  I'm learning to embrace my inner child and have fun. I sprayed them back and they never complained once. I got off the boats soaking wet and feeling lighter!  It's amazing the power "fun" has on our brains.  This is what I love about kids who know how to have fun.  They don't worry about a thing and they live in the moment. True beauty!

I hope I've inspired you to plan some fun. Anything really. Big or small. An hour or a full day.  It could even be a WEEK of fun.  This allows us to regenerate, get filled u, and come back with new creative juices and a sense of being alive again. 

Feel free to comment below on what activities you find fun! 

 

3 ways to lower STRESS and Get things done

3 ways (1).png

Every mom knows there are always things to get done, therefore I say there is NO RUSH.  Going after each task, on thing at a time, allows us to focus and keeps our stress down.  If you are anything like me, you enjoy squashing unnecessary stress!  

1. Time management is great way to lower stress. Time Management is a skill that even the best of the best realize they can always improve upon. Dividing your time can be challenging because, let’s be honest, there is always something to be done. Being productive in life by setting goals and achieving them has built my confidence over time. As a wise man once said, "There is a place and time for everything."  I’ve been able to achieve much by planning things out, trial and error, and being flexible. It’s like eating that giant elephant one bite at a time and forgetting the rest exists until your done chewing. (A bit graphic, I know.)  It’s a slow, steady process, but when we keep going we can’t help but SUCCEED. It takes serious self discipline, but it can be done. 

Deciding how you will spend your minutes is a gift you can give to YOU.  Everyone gets to be the boss of their lives and divide each day into the time slots they would like.  Time is an equal opportunity employer.  You see we all get 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week as well as 30 day in a month and 365 days in a year.  The difference is that we each CHOOSE how to use our time based on our priorities. From there we make a plan and execute. 

2. Acknowledge what you want. No need to be shy about it. Let's call a thing a thing. Do you need more sleep? Time out with a friend? A fun family day? Time solo? What is it that you want to have time for, but it seems that it never gets done? Naming that thing is the first step to getting it done. Share with me in the comment section below. Let's encourage each other to keep going and find ways to get done what needs to get done. 

3. Get back to the basics. We all need food and sleep. Are you getting yours? Going to bed at the same time each night is a challenge. I mean every morning going to bed by 10 sounds wonderful and doable. And then it happens. The house gets still and I remember all the things I'd like to accomplish. It takes great self control, but I'm never disappointed when I get great sleep! It is worth every muscle of self control I used when I told myself "lights out".  Same with meal times. My body thanks me when I eat good food and eat it often. It functions so much better than when I'm starving and getting a "hungry" headache. 

As we enter into the weekend let's remember why we do what we do.  We enjoy making money, solving problems, and loving on our families. Let's keep this in the fore front of our mind. We are a success. We do so much right!  After all, what more can we give then our best? If you've found this article helpful in anyway please leave a comment below. I look forward to hearing from you! 

 

Incredible World of Mompreneurs

Ambitious moms make great entrepreneurs..png

 

Who am I? I am an entrepreneur and a mother.  The mix really does go well together.  It is however, a bit challenging.  Finding time for everything is impossible without a strategy.  Days where I go lax on my organization I really get thrown off course and can end up....well you might say on the "moody" side.  To eliminate that unpleasantness I work diligently to keep things in order.  I've learned first hand that order brings a sense of peace of calm that I can't get enough of. "The Reset" is a powerful idea I picked up from Kryssi Pulley over at "krys4thepeople"  Now I can reset my day instead of drawing out a whole day of misfortune. 

Being a mother in and of itself is exciting, unique, and at times exhausting which is how I relate so well to the entrepreneur spirit.   Throw in the mix of owning and operating your own business and/or side hustle and chaos is sure to spring forth like a tsunami.

Between feeding, clothing, and driving children from place to place; one must find time for all things under the sun. How do we do this? We make a plan.  In this post I'm going to share with you some ideas on how to make a plan work for you instead of you working for the plan. 

Set daily priorities. In the morning I do my best writing and responding to emails for my business. I write weekly blogs as well as monthly for 2 magazines. (Idaho Family Magazine and Christian Living Magazine)  In order for me to truly get this done I must commit to myself the fact that I will get up before the sun.  Now, that might seem like the hard part for some, but for me it is actually making myself go to bed, even when my house isn't as clean as I'd like it to be.  You see, as a HUMAN, I too have a limited amount of strength before my body needs to sleep and start again.  In the future I will definitely employ someone who enjoys cleaning and be more than HAPPY to pay them for their services.  Even though I can clean, I prefer to write.   I do what I am able to do and must accept that.  The season I am in with (7) children 11 and under is extremely messy, but no one can argue that we don't have a lot of "life" going on. 

Make a small list of goals for the week. This list has got to be SHORT yet powerful.  I want it to be short so that you can feel like a winner and not like you are sinking.  For example, this week my SHORT list is to organize my desk, spend quality time with children via one outing, and take an Epson salt bath.  This is very obtainable for my SHORT list. Now, I do have MANY other things I'd "like" to get accomplished, but they would simply be a bonus. We want to build ourselves up and build our morale. We must practice to not tear ourselves down.  It is damaging to our self worth and those around us. 

Carve out me time. Time for you and your children to connect is imperative to a long lasting relationship.  After all, who wants to spend all these years pouring into our beloved children for them to grow up and not want to hang out with us.  If your children are no longer toddlers, it is okay.  I find that most children get really comfortable when you bring food and fun to the table.  For example, struggling with one child in particular?  Allow them to stay up with you and have cup of tea, or hot chocolate with a bedtime snack and ask them a few questions.  I found these ones to be quite entertaining. click here

Let go of the guilt as soon as you feel it.  Mom guilt is real. I feel it often.  And then I have to take a step back and be real with myself. I'm doing my best and my motivation is to teach my children to be self sufficient and live a happy life.  If you can't do your own laundry and you have no money its going to be a REAL challenge to be happy, if ya know what I'm saying.  So when they fuss about your rules and regulations, sure let them speak and then kindly say...."This is how it is sweetie." And when the time comes that they are doing something amazing, but they didn't give you enough heads up to make it to their event, hug and kiss them and wish them well as they head out on their journey.  and next time, they will remember to add it to the family calendar. 

Mama, if your doing your best (which I know you are) that's what you have to give.  Have you ever actually thanked yourself for cooking dinner, cleaning the dirty laundry, and wiping runny noses?  Why not?  If you can beat yourself up, surely it's not any more crazy to tell yourself "thank you".  Try it today.  Here's how you do it: Anything that you'd thank someone else for doing-- thank yourself. "As in, Mindy, thank you for going grocery shopping when you were tired and wanted to sleep in.  It's wonderful that your family will now have food at their fingertips."  It is uncomfortable at first, but once you get some practice it feels amazing and boosts the morale! 

What is your biggest struggle that you are working through this month?  Comment below to share with our kind, accepting, and brilliant community! 

 

SELF CARE 101

Self Care: Because YOU are worth the INVESTMENT. 

Self Care: Because YOU are worth the INVESTMENT. 

"Always fill your cup first, and allow the world to benefit from your overflow." -author unknown

What is Self Care? Self care has many great definitions.  Here is one of my favorite. "Self Care is about being deliberate in taking time for yourself for the betterment of your mind, body, and soul."

How does one do that?  Many ways are available to refresh and replenish ones spirit. The best way to start is by getting to know yourself.  Here is one free way to do just that.  Over at www.16personalities.com you can find a FREE personality test that takes around 12 minutes to complete.  Upon completing this exercise, I guarantee, you will have a better understanding of who you are, which will lend in how you can INCREASE your self care.   Becoming a student of yourself, will lead you directly into order as you let go of chaos. 

How can I get started?  Begin by slowing down. Deep breath. Yes, like that! Now, I'd like to ask you a question.  What is ONE thing you can do for yourself this week that would bring you joy?  You know, that thing you've been putting off and saying you'll get to later.  Is it getting your hair done, going to the gym, taking a hot bubble bath or as simple as going to visit your mother?  Whatever that "thing" is...you'll want to take action asap.  This is the beginning of self care--taking the time to name what it is that you can do for you that also would bring you joy. 

Don't wait until you get sick. I see many hard working mothers who push themselves to the point that they get physically sick from mental and physical exhaustion.  I'm not proud to say I've done it myself and more than once.  Let's decide right now that we will take care of us, by us, a little each day so that we can give our best to our families and the world.

Once you start. Once you get a feeling for how great self care is you will be addicted and in a GOOD way.  Your productivity will increase as well as joy, happiness, patience, and creativity. It's like wining the ENERGY lottery. Baby steps will get you to where you want to go. 

So,  let's recap.  You can start Self care anytime and anywhere by listening to what you and your body needs and then caring for those needs. When you are tempted to skip your Self care, remember this: Self care is full body armor to protect the energy we need to survive and thrive as entrepreneurs and mothers. You hold the power. 

You've got this Mama! 

 

 

How to bring Order to Your Week

How to plan your week.png

These days, it seems all of us run on a tight schedule.  There is always something to do and somewhere to go.  In the midst of raising a family, and being an entrepreneur, you know how easy it is to forget about the essentials. I'm talking about "What's for Dinner, Mom?".  Those are the dreaded words no mom wants to hear when she's had a busy day and is exhausted and quite frankly forgot about dinner. 

Today I'm going to share with you how I learned to simplify meal times by planning ahead.

Step 1: Gather info from the peeps.  Driving home from school is a great time to gather information from your children.  I provided a piece of paper and pen for a child who is able to record our conversation.  Each child shared one thing they enjoy for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack.  After speaking with 5 children I now had 15 meals for the week and 5 snacks.  This way ensures the people you are serving will eat what you took time to make. It's a win-win all around!

Step 2: Use what you have.  I recommend using a crockpot, stockpot, and/or rice cooker for the majority of weekly meals. "They cook all day while the cook is away!" Add in one day a week that is take out and you're golden!   Some of my favorite crockpot meals include chili, whole chicken and veggies, and beef stew. Pinterest is a great way to gather ideas for one pot wonders. Also, ask yourself, "What are my go-to meals", because let's be honest, it's easy to fall off the meal planning train, but just as easy to reset and climb back aboard.  I keep frozen pizzas and nuggets in the deep freezer for emergency use along with bags of steamable veggies.  Not 100% healthy I know, but it is food nonetheless. 

Step 3: Pick one day a week to plan. I find that when I commit to one hour on a Sunday afternoon I rock my meal plan for the week and then shop the very next day.  Planning and shopping the same day can be overwhelming. No need to stress. Do what's best for you. 

Step 4: Stick to the plan. Take note what everyone actually ate and what you could do without next week.  Plan out your favorite places for take out and what you will order. Do this for 4 restaurants and you'll be prepared for an entire month! 

Step 5: Celebrate your progress.  Perfection has no place for mothers and children. it's all about progress!  What will you do to celebrate your success in the meal planning department? Maybe a family movie, a trip to the ice-cream shop, or indulge in your favorite book for an afternoon. This is the most important step, as to avoid meal planning burn out. 

Step 6: Look over your week.  What worked? What didn't?  What do you want to try different this week?  It could be more or less take out, batch cooking, freezer meals? Whatever works for you

Now you know how to cut the chaos when meal planning. Knowing what everyone is eating for the week clears the mental chaos of not knowing and becoming overwhelmed. Don't stress about creating the perfect meals as next week you get the oopportunity to plan 21 more!  After you've cleared this chaos it leaves room for more creativity which every entrepreneur loves.  Comment below if you've found this post to be helpful.